Deepest Fears
by DivergentDreamer36
Summary: The twelth Doctor and Clara land on a hostile planet and are taken prisoner. To win their freedom they must pass a test in which they face their greatest fears. If they win they go free...if they fail they die.
1. Chapter 1

Epilogue:

"Roosevelt once said 'We have nothing to fear but fear it's self'

I say we have nothing to fear but fear ourselves.

For where does fear come from?

Oh, not just the little fears like rats and snakes or doing badly on your next exam. No. I'm talking about the really bad ones. The ones that make you wake up screaming in the night. Fears so bad even you can't bear to think of them.

Nothing is more terrifying then what is in our own heads.

But what put them there to begin with? These fears.

Memories, deep in our hearts of things so repulsive we have locked them away somewhere deep and dark and forgotten.

Fear is what happens when those things rattle their chains. When the voice of our forgotten nightmares whisper in our ears.

We fear because we know it is only a matter of time.

That one day…maybe one day soon…they will break free.

"DOCTOR! Oh Christ! DOCTOR!"

The Doctor rolled his eyes as Clara came clattering from the back of the T.A.R.D.I.S.

" Yes, Clara?" he said evenly not even lifting his eyes from the dial he was tinkering with.

Clara was wide eyed with panic, gesturing wildly in the direction from which she came.

"HUGE..HAIRY…BIG TEETH…IN MY HAND BAG!"

" Oh?" said the Doctor unimpressed, " Let me see."

Clara briefly disappeared reappearing holding her hand bag out as though it might bite her. The Doctor took it and opening it, looked casually inside. A small smile spread across his face as he lifted his eyes to Clara.

"It's just a rat, Clara!"

" I know it's a rat! What is a rat doing in the T.A.R.D.I.S?"

The Doctor returned his attention to the Dial.

"It probably ran in while the door was open. Poor little chap is going to be very confused."

Clara raised an eye brow. " What's it doing in my hand bag?"

The Doctor sighed and peered into the hand bag. A small squeak or two came from the depths.

"Indeed…well, yes I'm very sorry about that."

" Sorry, for what? Did you put it there?"

The Doctor huffed impatiently.

"I'm not talking to you!"

Clara shook her head. "You speak rat? Of course you do. Honestly,why am I always so surprised?"

The Doctor returned to the dial working silently. Clara approached him curiously.

"What did it say then? What was it doing in my hand bag?"

The Doctor put a finger to his lips, motioning for her to come closer.

"Sleeping." He whispered.

" Sleeping?!"

" Shush! Yes…poor fellows exhausted! Running about all day being chased by cats and so on. Then you come along and frighten him half to death! You were very Rude to him Clara!"

Clara just stared at him for a moment her head to one side. You could almost see the gears of her brain working behind her eyes trying to comprehend what he'd just said. She furrowed her brow.

"Rude…to a rat..all righty then! Guess I need a new Hand bag!"

The Doctor waved his hand dismissively .

"Don't be ridiculous! He's just borrowing it. Rat's are actually quite clean. I told him not to make a mess."

Clara couldn't help but smile.

"What's his name then?"

The Doctor snorted, " Don't be ridiculous Clara! Rat's don't have names! Animals are far too advanced for names! They find them demeaning. He's simply 'The Rat.'

"Ah," said Clara blandly, taking a seat a good ways away from the hand bag."Well, you tell The Rat to stay over there will you?"

"Why? What's he done to you? Honestly, you humans and your petty fears. One would think you'd spend more time enjoying life, you live for so short a time."

"I suppose you're not afraid of anything." Clara said teasingly

" I never said that! It's impossible to be fearless. There's no such thing. In order to be fearless you have to not care about anything or anyone. You can forget love or really any emotion at all. It's rather like being mad being completely fearless..you can't care about anything. Not even yourself."

Clara let that soak in for a minute, she would file that in her head along with all the other things he'd said to her and try to unravel it later. She grinned at the Doctor playfully.

"So what are you afraid of then?"

A pause, then an unmistakable change of tone.

"You know what's fascinating? The concept of fear its self. I mean where did it come from? Even babies feel fear so it hasn't just got to do with what happens to us. I think it's a survival instinct..like with possums. Fear makes them pass out so they can avoid danger…not the brightest animal the possum."

"Doctor! Answer the question!"

The Doctor's face fell and then a smile.

"Please, Ladies first!"

Clara glared. He thought he was so clever.

" Fair enough. I'm scared of dying."

"Oh everyone's scared of that!" said the Doctor giving another dismissive wave. "I'm even scare of dying and I've done it before!"

"Never for real though, I should think that would be different."

"Yes," mused The Doctor, " I suppose it would be. What else have you got?"

Clara pursed her lips, her dark lashes obscuring her eyes briefly .

"I'm afraid of letting down those I love… disappointing them."

The Doctor lowered his eyes, " Ah, that's a good one or should I say, a bad one? It's the worst fear of all because it's bound to happen eventually. Oh! Not just to you, Clara! To all of us! I meant…should I get the cards?"

"Please don't…" groaned Clara rolling her eyes, " Are you satisfied now? Ready to talk?"

"Clara…"

"Fine!" Clara threw up her arms in exasperation, "You want a good one? Here it is, this is how much I trust you. My worst fear…my very worst fear is losing myself. That one day I'll just fade away to nothing. Not dead, not alive, not in some in between state that I can wake up from, just …nothing. Just not being Clara Oswald any more…or anything really. Do you understand? Doctor, Are you all right?"

The Doctor's eyes were large and deep with a mix of pity and fear. This had touched something in him.

"What? Oh, yes. Fine…Fine..My turn then?"

Clara smiled with a nod. There was a moment of silence, The Doctor seemed to be peering inside of himself. Then quite suddenly a veil fell over his features.

"Chickens!"

"Chickens? Seriously?!"

"Yes! I'm terrified of them! Have you ever really looked at one ? They're horrible Clara! Those beady little eyes and the way they always sound like they're laughing…what could be that funny?!"

Clara's gaze was long suffering, " I think I'm looking at a big chicken right now."

The Doctor walked to the other side of the control panel, his face toward the controls. When he spoke his voice was strained with emotion.

"I can't Clara. I'm sorry, I just can't! Maybe another time, but not now."

She crossed over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"That's all right, Old Man." She said gently, " Who knows what kind of fears eleven lives can create. Honestly, you Time Lords and your deep, dark secrets. One would think you'd enjoy life more you live for…"

A sharp lurch and a hiss from the console of the T.A.R.D.I.S cut Clara off in mid sentence. The floor of the T.A.R.D.I.S tilted crazily knocking Clara off of her feet. The entire craft seemed to be spinning out of control. Clara slid across the floor as loose objects fell around her. Suddenly an arm caught her and pulled her close against a support beam. Arms enfolded her and the light was blotted out by a velvet trench coat. The Doctor's voice, surprisingly calm spoke close to her. " I have you, don't worry. It will be fine."

A sickening impact shuddered through the craft and then all was still. Clara opened her eyes as The Doctor stepped away from her.

"See?!" he proclaimed triumphantly, " I told you!"

Then his senses left him.


	2. Whispers in the Dark

The Doctor awoke in a cloud of confusion. It was darker in the T.A.R.D.I.S. then it usually was. No. He wasn't in the T.A.R.D.I.S. It was too dark, too damp, to still. Soundless, that's what it was. Except for that buzzing noise nearby, most likely a Gnat. He swatted at the sound . "Go Away!"

"Doctor!" The gnat said suddenly _. Rediculous._ He thought. _Gnats don't speak and they certainly don't have the strength to shake a person._

"Doctor! Wake up!"

 _That voice…he knew that voice. Who was it? Damn these old brain cells…_

"Doctor, PLEASE!"

 _The girl, of course! His companion, how could he have forgotten her? What was her name again? Clarissa,Casey, Cathie…no…OH! That's right!._

" Clara…"

He opened his eyes blearily and through a faint mist he saw Clara's face inches from his own.

"Clara!"

He found his voice as both his vision and his sense cleared.

" Clara, are you all right?" He sat up putting his hands on her shoulders. Satisfied that she was actually there, he looked beyond to his surroundings. " Did we lose the T.A.R.D.I.S. ?"

Clara smiled, relief flooding her features.

"No, but for a moment I thought I'd lost you! You were out so long I thought you might change on me again."

"Don't be ridiculous Clara, if I regenerated every time I got a knock on the head even I couldn't keep up with which me I was. What happened?"

"We crashed…"

"REALLY?! I hadn't noticed. I may be an old man Clara but I think I can remember that!"

" If you'd just let me finish!" Clara huffed, " After you passed out there was a knock on the door…"

" And you opened it?!"

"Of course I did! What choice did I have!"

The Doctor leaned back against the cold stone, feeling the beating of both his hearts in his temples.

"It could have been anyone Clara! Anything! You could have been killed!"

Clara's voice rose in frustration, " I needed help! I didn't know where or when I was. I had you passed out bleeding and a big, broken time box to deal with. So, yeah! I took a risk!"

The Doctor sat up wearily. " Don't do that again! I know you will, but I feel I should say it any way."

Clara gave a thin smile, " You are all right aren't you? Besides the knock?"

"I doubt you could tell the difference if I wasn't." The Doctor said shaking his head, " I'm beginning to think this forgetfulness is permanent. So who was at the door?"

"The door?"

"Yes, the door to the T.A.R.D.I.S…keep up Clara!"

" Sorry, There were two..creatures..they called themselves "Turranians" they said we were trespassers and were going to be put to a test. Something about wining our freedom and they brought us here."

" So, you just went with them?"

"Well, they had gaurds obviously! Besides, they had you..what else was I going to do."

"I'm flattered." The Doctor stood unsteadily, Clara shadowing him the entire time he seemed to be thinking. Clara continued.

"They were awful looking. They looked like…"

" Scales? Big, round, red eyes? Feelers like a cat fish? Looked like they haven't seen the sun in years?"

Clara furrowed her brow, " You know them?"

"Oh yes..I know them…Oh Clara, you never should have opened that door."

"What does that mean?" asked Clara, " Are they that bad?"

"Worse! They hate strangers…especially humans. There's only one thing they hate more then humans."

" What?"

"Me."

Clara groaned, " Oh that's just super!" she slid down the wall to the stone floor where she sat her face in her hands.

The Doctor's piercing gaze took in the cell around him. It had been hollowed from solid rock. Stalagtites hung from the ceiling like folded bats, dripping brackish water onto the stone floor below. It was one of the dreariest places The Doctor had ever seen.

"So why do they hate us so much then?" Clara said to the wall in front of her.

" They hate you because you're not one of them. They hate me for other reasons."

"What did you do?"

"Who says I did anything? It wasn't my fault…well I suppose in a way it was. One of my companions wandered off and ended up some place he shouldn't have been. He decided to take a souvenir to show he'd been there. "

" What was it?"

" The Queen's scepter."

Clara smothered her laughter, " She was angry then?"

"Oh she was furious! That was the quickest teleportation of my life time!"

"Your companion must have got a talking too."

The Doctor's eyes were suddenly far away, his voice solemn.

" No…no he didn't. He didn't get a chance. The spear was a weapon you see…he was vaporized the minute he touched it's crystal. Poof! Then nothing."

Clara bit her lip, " Sorry…"

"So was I, I was fond of him. Losing him was…difficult."

Clara was silent, in spite of herself she was becoming afraid.

"So what do we do?"

"Nothing…There's nothing do be done. Were miles under ground, at the heart of a system of tunnels all of which are full of traps to deter strangers. We wouldn't last two minutes outside of here."

" So that's it then. We just wait to die?"

The Doctor turned to her. He hated feeling helpless, he knew she expected him to protect her. That it was his duty, but he wasn't sure he could.

But he had to try.

" Oh stop," he said suddenly, " It's not that bad! The Turanians won't kill us, they like to play with what they catch. Like..like cats! They'll give us a good scare and let us go."

Clara muttered through her fingers. " Cats eat what they play with Doctor."

The Doctor was silent a moment. Damn.

"Well, I suppose it's a good thing they aren't actually cats then."

So they waited in silence sitting across from one another. The cavern was silent except for the drip of water and the fluttering hiss of the torch. The shadows had grown significantly when The Doctor spoke again.

" Clara, say something."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything just talk! "

Clara rubbed the back of her neck, " I can't think of anything, you first."

"No, it doesn't matter if I talk! You're too quiet Clara..you're never quiet!"

"I'm scared."

The Doctor closed his eyes, " So am I."

" You must be to admit it."

The Doctor gave a whisp of a smile.

Clara's eyes moved over the cavern, " Is it me or is it getting darker in here?"

" The torch is going out."

" Of course it is." Clara moved closer to The Doctor.

"There's nothing to be afraid of in the dark Clara. It's just the same as it is in the light except you can't see it."

The flame dwindled and the shadows grew.

" Come here, Clara."

Clara moved closer and she felt The Doctor's hand grab her own she felt it tremble but said nothing.

"No matter what happens, no matter what they do to us do not let them separate us. We have to stay together."

"I'm not going any where."

The torch had dwindled to a sickly flame and then all at once it extinguished and a veil of darkness fell over their sight.

For a moment there was silence, then Clara spoke her voice small and fragile in the darkness.

"Doctor?"

"What is it Clara?"

"Oh nothing…I suppose I just wanted to be sure."

"Sure of what?"

"…..of you."

The Doctor's hand squeezed once in the dark.

"Don't worry Clara, that's one thing you can always count on. I will always have your back."

Clara leaned her head on her friends shoulder and hand in hand they waited.


	3. Into the Dark

Author's Note: Being a new whovian ( and extremely confused I might add.) I researched the fate of Galifrey and the results of the Time War. I also found out the eleventh Doctor fixed all that so..huge hole. So if you would suspend your belief just for this fic ( As I need time to digest exactly what I just read.) I will try to be more truthful in the future. So…I guess…behold my version of the time war…later.

Thank you for your patience.

At some unknowable hour they came. Guards. Their armor with its slanted helmet and jointed spine making them look even more reptilian. They parted them so quickly that by the time The Doctor registered Clara's screams it was too late. Strong arms held him and by the torch light he could just discern Clara's wide, frightened eyes. He kept his eyes fixed on hers as he spoke to his captors.

"The girl stays with me…that's my one condition…where ever I go she goes."

The hissy laughter made his blood run cold. "Of course she goes where you go. You are both being tested. Don't worry..we won't harm her…unless you don't stop talking."

The Doctor fell silent. The guards prodded him and he moved forward obediently, his eyes never leaving the outline of Clara's body as they walked.

After what seemed like an eternity in darkness they came to a large arch with two doors which opened as they approached . As they passed through they were in a torch lit hall at the end of which were two small doors similar to the ones they had just passed through. In front of the doors stood a male and female turanian dressed in the finery of royalty. The sight of the pale, reptilian skin and large, unblinking red eyes sent a shiver down Clara's spine. The Doctor, however seemed to have quite a different reaction.

"Your Majesty! It is so good to see you again! It's been a long time..not long enough…but long! You're looking lovely as always. Love what you've done with the place!"

"Silence, your theatrics do not work on me Time Lord!"

The female Turannian's voice filled the room. Clara flinched. But The Doctor seemed undisturbed by this. He only winced as though he'd tasted something bad.

"Ah, you see? You've gotten it wrong again. Time Lord is my race. My name is…"

"I know your name you clown! At least that ridiculous title you use as one. I will call you what I wish, Time Lord."

The Doctor seemed a bit disquieted by this, but he spoke as jovially as ever.

Only Clara knew the truth. This nonsense and clownishness was The Doctor's defense. He was planning and weighing every detail. It was rather like when "Missy" had shown Clara how Dalyks communicated. How every "I love you" and "Please don't hurt me!" was replaced with one word: "Exterminate!"

This was the opposite. The Doctor was disguising his anger and fear, deep beneath she could hear his soul screaming "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" It was fortunate his mercy balanced his temper.

The Doctor gave a small laugh. "My, my, my isn't the universe funny? You're keeping me prisoner and to think you said you never wanted to see me again…I always knew you cared."

The chorus of hissing brought The Doctor to Clara's side.

" You will be tested!"

The Doctor sighed, " All right, fair enough. But leave Clara out of it, your quarrel's with me."

"Clara?" The large red eyes switched to Clara, " Oh…a new pet! Isn't she just adorable! I trust you brought a leash this time. I'd hate for there to be another accident."

The Doctor tightened his grip on Clara's hand but his tone remained polite and even playful.

"I assure you, Your Majesty, she will not leave my side. She's been well trained."

Clara gave him a withering look, he shrugged helplessly. The Queen smiled in Clara's direction.

" I don't have much use for humans, generally. But when gotten young they make the most adorable pets. I find the females to be so much more, agreeable, don't you Time Lord? Come here girl!"

She held her scaly hand out to Clara. Clara looked out of the corner of her eye to The Doctor. The head shake was barely perceptible.

"I said come to me, you miserable creature!"

The gaurds snatched Clara and dragged her forward.

"NO!" The Doctor's fear showed through at this, but he caught himself immediately. "She's shy of strangers…wouldn't want her to wee on you. That would be terribly embarrassing!"

"Silence!" The Turannian queen approached Clara, " Clara…is that your name? Pretty little Clara…clever little Clara…" She ran a talon tipped hand over Clara's head. Clara was as still as a rabbit in a snare.

"Of course you have to be all those things if he chose you as his pet. He's very fussy you see..he told me so himself . Did he tell you how many other little pets he's had? He told me. Where do you think they are now?"

She pushed Clara away with a sneer. Clara spoke then.

"He's told me all about the others. There's nothing you could say or do to make me distrust him so don't even try."

" So loyal…little loyal Clara. Tell me, Girl, did he promise to keep you safe as well? He promised them that…how did that work out Time Lord?"

The Doctor spoke up, "Enough! Stop playing with her!"

" You see Clara, Your friend doesn't like it when other people play with his toys. He is so afraid they will break them. You are so very breakable…."

The Doctor lunged forward reflexively, but the guards held him firmly.

" If you so much as scratch her, I will…."

Before he could complete his warning Clara gasped as a guard plunged a needle into her arm. She screamed in agony as its contents took effect.

The Doctor managed to break free this time and running to Clara's side he saw that she was already recovering she straightened up unsteadily.

" What did you do to her? What did you give her?"

" Calm yourself, Time Lord. She hasn't been harmed…yet. It's all part of the test, please don't feel left out. We have plenty to go around."

The Doctor barely had time to react before he felt the stab of the needle in his arm. He cried out as its contents burned through his blood stream and then the pain was gone as quickly as it had come. He straightened and locked eyes with the Queen. The gaze was hard, cold,lethal. Clara grabbed his arm.

"Doctor, it's all right…I'm all right don't make it worse."

With an effort The Doctor seemed to relax.

"Well? What now?"

The Queen smiled, "Now the fun starts. You've both been injected with a venom from one of our native species. It kills by stimulating the adrenal glands and fear centers of the brain. It causes vivid hallucinations and removes the off switch to the fear reaction so that the circulatory and respiratory systems go out of control killing the victim. It quite literally "frightens them to death". We did some tinkering and slowed down the reaction time and the venoms potency so that it lies dormant until it is exposed to the fear hormone and or elevated adrenal levels. Let me put it plainly. If you want to live, don't panic."

The Doctor turned to Clara but her demeanor was calm and relaxed.

 _She trusts me to get us out of this._ He thought _, That's beautiful..the only problem is I can't._

The Queen continued, gesturing to the two sets of doors. "Through these doors lie your worst nightmares. Your deepest, darkest fears will be brought to life right before your eyes. The only way to banish them is to face them with no fear only then can you move on to the next level. Of course, you must also do this remaining calm enough not to activate the poison. If you succeed you're free to go. If you fail. You die."

The Doctor looked to Clara and gave a small smile of encouragement, she returned it.

" Why are their two doors?" asked Clara, " Are we supposed to choose?"

The Queen laughed, " Silly Girl! How could we possibly depict the same fears for two people? Fears are so personal. "

The Doctor felt an icy fist clasp just below his hearts. Of course.

"Then…which door do we go to first?"

The Queen approached Clara and ran her scaly fingers down her cheek. "Oh my poor, dear, sweet child..did you think you were going to do this together?"

The Doctor held tight to Clara's hand. " I told you she stays with me!"

"When have you ever known me to take orders, Time Lord? Take them."

The guards tore them from each other almost before the command had been given. The Doctor struggled to calm the frantic beating of both his hearts. He forced his tone to be as calm as possible, he could hear Clara screaming for him and he knew he had to calm her.

"Clara…" he called, "Clara, listen to me. It's all right, I'm still here you just won't be able to see me. Clara, do what they say…and please..please don't panic!"

The screams stopped and all he heard was wimpering. He had arrived at his own door by now. Before turning to face it he called out one last thing. " See you soon, Clara."

Then he opened the door and stepped inside. The door slammed behind him echoing through the passage. There was torch light ahead. He walked towards it .

First Test:

" I am the shadow you see out of the corner of your eye.

I am the reason the dark makes you cry.

I am not quick, I give you your turn round the sun.

But the faster you flee, the more quickly I come."

The Doctor blinked as the sudden glare of the torches hit his vision. Then suddenly his vision seemed to shimmer and the light paled and intensified . The room seemed to expand, the ceiling rise until it disappeared completely into the grey light of a smoke filled sky. Disorientated the Doctor stood blinking like an owl in the middle of his new surroundings. Sand and rock stretched as far as the eye could see, the ground was scorched black in places and sun bleached in others. In the distance was a city, a city of fire and embers. Flames belched from it and great plumes of smoke drifted towards him carrying the scent of destruction and death. As his eyes adjusted, shapes took form in the land scape around him. It took a time for his mind to process what he was seeing, but once he did his blood ran cold.

Bodies littered the ground. Millions of them. Men, Women, Children and infants all burned to ashes or horribly mutilated. As he walked slowly from body to body he realized he knew some of the faces. It was then he knew where he was.

Galifrey.

This was the ravages of the Time War, the war he'd started. The war that had resulted in nearly all of his race being wiped out and trapping his planet forever in time. This was his worst vision of death.

He closed his eyes, feeling one of his hearts begin to race followed by the other, a dizziness came over him.

No. No. He had to stay calm. He took a deep breath and forced himself to picture Galifrey as it once was. Prosperous, peaceful, alive. He saw the faces of those he had loved. He felt the calm decend.

" So you're back, Doctor?"

His eyes shot open, and he found himself staring face to face with another Time Lord. It was easy to recognize this fact as he recognized him as one of the soldiers that had fought under him. Also, both his hearts were visible through his exposed rib cage. The Doctor took another deep breath and tried to still his heart beat.

"We've been waiting…we'd almost given up on you."

The Doctor swallowed hard, " There…there are more of you?"

The figured gestured around him, " Can't you see us? Or have your travels made you so blind?"

"You're dead. I saw you die, you're dead and so are they. The dead do not come back."

 _This isn't real._ He thought to himself _, It's a trick. this isn't real._

Almost as though they had heard his statement bodies began to rise, one by one they stood mutilated and scorched behind the soldier that was addressing him. The corpses stared at him with wide, acusing eyes.

"Where were you Doctor?"

The soldier asked, "How could you let this happen?"

The Doctor backed up, momentarily losing his grip on reality.

" I tried to save you…I did! You know that! I couldn't win…I.."

"You left us!"

" You were already gone."

The words seemed to calm him, and he lifted his head and stared directly into the soldiers eyes.

"This can't be happening…it can't be happening because you're dead."

" And soon you'll be just like us."

The bodies began to circle around him, move towards him. If there was any resolve left it shattered with this. The Doctor fell to his knees. His hearts hammering in his chest, his blood on fire he begged.

"Please! Please! It wasn't my fault! I tried to save you..I.."

 _Wait a minute._

Somehow through pain and fear a voice spoke to him.

 _Think for a minute. Stop panicking and think._

The pain was searing through his veins now and his vision had begun to blur.

The thought of regeneration never occurred to him, why bother?

 _Your Name you numb skull! Your name! If they are who they say they are they'd know your name_

 _Your REAL name. Ask them._

Suddenly a new strength filled him and he felt his heart beat begin to slow with the realization that he had a plan.

" Why are you smiling Doctor?"

The Doctor grinned… " Doctor? Doctor who?" The bodies froze in place looking some what confused.

"You. You are The Doctor."

"Yes I am! But I also have a name. So again, Doctor Who? Hate to get the wrong one."

The bodies began advancing again.

"You don't know, do you? YOU DON'T KNOW!" a sharp burst of laughter but then it faded.

"This isn't real…but it happened. I'll always remember you, but you can't hurt me.

" We will kill you!"

"Go ahead."

A sudden flash of light and The Doctor found himself staring at another door, once again surrounded by stone and illuminated by torch light.

Fear of Death, done.

One down, that was something.

He put his hand on the handle, took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Here we go again." He whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

" If I'm really a winner, where do these demons come from?"

The room was empty. The Doctor blinked his eyes in the dim light, but he saw nothing.

"What is this now?" He wondered aloud.

As though in answer to his words the room went black as a cloth sack was put over his head. He felt his arms and legs being shackled so he was unable to move. He closed his eyes.

 _Not real. Not real._

" Doctor!"

That sounded real. Very real. Who was that?

" Doctor, Help me!"

The voice of a young woman crying out in panic. Not Clara, not anyone he recognized. Who then?

" Doctor, you promised, help us!"

Voices were coming from all over now, screams and pleas for help and from somehere far off the wailing of a baby.

"Help us Doctor! You can't just leave us! You promised you'd help us!"

 _Oh no._ he thought _Not this. This is torture_.

"HELP US! "

He felt his heart hammering in his ears, his breath had become ragged and the pain was beginning to rise in his body again. He struggled to hold on to his senses.

 _Stop. Think. You know this isn't real. But that doesn't help does it? Because it's real right now, in your head._

 _So plan B, Why is it frightening you?_

 _You must know…what does it mean to you._

 _Why do you call yourself The Doctor?_

 _Because you fix things right._

 _When you show up everything gets better, right?_

 _You know that isn't true and it kills you._

 _You can't make everything better, no one can._

 _Accept that._

The Doctor nodded to himself. He took a deep breath or two then struggling against the pain he spoke.

"I can't help you. I'm sorry."

"You promised us!" the voices wailed on.

The Doctor took a moment to steady himself then spoke again.

"I did…I did promise you. I shouldn't have done that…I never should have promised something I wasn't a hundred percent sure I could give. I'm so sorry…I'm sorry I failed you. I wanted so badly for it all to be ok…for you, for me, for everyone.

But that's not how it works. I'm not a hero, you see? I think I am sometimes, but I'm a fool. I'm just …me.

I can't fix everything."

Slowly the voices died away and his vision returned. But a split second before the next door appeared he swore he heard one other voice.

" Well done, old man."

He swore it was Clara's voice.

"The prisoner will now be questioned!"

The Doctor shielded his eyes as a bright light exploded in front of them. He took a few tentative steps forward. The disembodied voice, cold and robotic spoke again.

" You are the Time Lord known as "The Doctor?"

The Doctor squinted into the brightness.

" Yes. Who are you?"

"Yes or No!"

The voice was sharp. The Doctor winced, it sounded too much like a Dalek for his liking. He knew it wasn't though, no Dalek would ever waste time with questions.

"You came to this place in a time machine you call a TARDIS, yes or no?"

"Yes."

"You claim this was an accident?"

The Doctor ran a hand over his face, his tone long suffering.

"Oh it was an accident, I assure you it was definitely an accident."

"You come from the planet Galifrey?"

"I do."

The voice was devoid of emotion as it spoke.

"You are aware that your race is all but destroyed?"

The Doctor's tone was grim.

"Yes, I am most aware."

"You were to blame for this? Yes or no.

The Doctor remained silent.

"Yes or no?"

Rage suddenly filled The Doctor, why should he tell them anything?

"What right do you have to question me?! You know nothing of my experiences!"

"If you resist, we will make you talk."

" I'd like to see you try!"

The Doctor immediately regretted his words. The light shifted revealing a metal cage. Electricity pulsed around the bars and in the center, tied to a metal pole was Clara.

"Doctor…" she said quietly.

The Doctor felt true fear rising in him for the first time. This was too real.

" If you do not answer she will be punished. Do you understand?"

"Yes, yes I understand!"

"Good."

The voice continued ruthlessly.

" Were you responsible for the events at Galifrey?"

The Doctor could feel the fire of the poison in his veins, he struggled to keep his heart beats steady.

" You don't understand…it was complicated.."

There was a vivid spark and Clara cried out in pain.

"Clara! Yes! Yes! I was to blame! I led the battle!"

The shock had been brief, but Clara's face showed a pain of another kind. Pity for him.

" So, you were responsible for the death or your own people?"

His hearts had begun to flutter he fought for control. "Yes."

"You are responsible for the deaths of many other people. Most of whom you called "Companions". Am I correct?"

The Doctor felt the pain searing through his chest he struggles against it, against the fear of confession.

"I loved my companions! It was never my intention too.."

The next shock was longer. Clara's scream was gut wrenching.

" NO! NO! Please, No!"

The Doctor was pacing now. His eyes wild as he fought against the agony in his chest.

"Don't hurt her..It's true. I killed them. They're dead because of me!"

Tears were streaming down The Doctor's face in spite of his attempts at controlling them.

"Yet, you continued to do as you pleased? Even though you knew the consequences?"

"Yes. Listen, Please! I never claimed to be a hero, much less a saint. I just…I just wanted to make a difference!

I'm sorry…Oh Clara I'm so sorry!"

This time Clara's body convulsed with the force of the shock. Her body dangled limply once it had passed.

"Why did you do that?!"

"Yes or no. Nothing more."

The Doctor crumpled to his knees. Panic engulfed him and with it the searing pain of the venom. His vision was growing darker by the moment.

" One last question."

The voice paused briefly, The Doctor waited clinging to consciousness.

" What is your name?"

The Docor ran a shaking hand over his clammy face.

" I'm The Doctor."

"Your real name!"

 _No._ he thought _, Not the one question I can't answer._

"I'm the Doctor."

Clara convulsed violently her body flopping like a rag doll.

" Please! I can't tell you..I can't!"

Suddenly as though in a trance, Clara sat up and locked eyes with The Doctor.

" Don't tell them, Doctor! This isn't happening! Remember? It's just a trick!"

The Doctor straightened himself then feeling the fear draining from him.

" I won't. I won't tell you my name! You can't hurt her because you don't exist! I own my mistakes. I'm not perfect and I admit that. "

In a flash he was facing another door.


	5. The Worst fear realised

"If Love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."

-Anonymous.

He was back in the Tardis. At least that's what it looked like. Every detail, from the main console to the slightly wobbly stool Clara cursed about all the time were present. A perfect reconstruction. For that was all it was , he told himself as he prepared for whatever horrors would be presented to him.

A catastrophic Malfunction, and Alien attack, some revenant from the past called up to taunt him.

But this time things did not begin with a bang…but a sniffle.

He heard a sound under one of the side panels of the console and he went towards it. Some one huddled beneath it, trembling and whimpering like a puppy. He could hear a small voice whispering over and over again. " This isn't happening…wake up…This isn't happening."

He knelt down and peered into the small shadowy space. Two terrified brown eyes looked back at him filmed with tears and unfocused.

"Clara?"

The head jerked up slightly staring sightlessly around. " Who's there?"

"Clara, it's me. Can't you see me?"

It soon became apparent that she could not. As she searched around frantically trying to find his voice. Suddenly he remembered the effect the venom had on his sight. He felt his stomach clench. He forced himself to speak gently. He reached out and touched her arm. Clara flinched away like a frightened animal. The Doctor's voice was gentle.

"Clara, it's just me. You don't have to be afraid of me, you know that! Now come on out of there so we can.."

"NO!" Clara pushed his reaching hand away, "You're not the Doctor. You're a trick…Just like everything else. The Doctor's gone…it's just me now."

The Doctor took another deep breath. None of the other hallucinations had been this real. Could it be this was really Clara?

"Clara, listen to me. You have to calm down. It's me, I'm The Doctor." He took her hand and held it in both his own.

There was a pause, then Clara's hands wrapped around his own, working up his arm.

"How…I saw you die! I saw it. You were crushed by a support beam…there was blood. "

"It was a trick, Clara…this isn't the TARDIS…come out of there, please."

Clara rose shakily, she fell to her knees and the Doctor went down with her.

The Doctor pulled her to him supporting her with his arms.

"It's the poison, Clara. You have to calm down…you'll get better if you calm down."

" Doctor…it was so real! It was terrible!"

The Doctor hushed her, " Don't think about it. Clara, please, just listen to me. Trust me. You're safe. It's over."

" But it isn't. It isn't over! God knows when it will be over…Oh God…Doctor I can't do this anymore…I can't!"

The Doctor took her by the shoulders and shook her slightly.

"Clara, stop! You can do this and I'll help you. We'll get through this…but you have to try."

"It's too much…it hurts too much…" Clara cried out, The Doctor caught her in his arms as she fell.

He felt his own heart beginning to hammer his veins burn.

"Clara…Clara!" He lifted her face to his " Listen to me, you will not give into this. You will not give up…You're Clara Oswald and you don't give up. Say it!"

"I'm Clara Oswald and..Doctor? Doctor I can't see you!"

 _She's slipping away._ He thought his own veins were on fire now and his limbs shook.

 _Keep calm, don't fall apart. Be brave for her._

He gathered himself forcing his voice to be steady.

He put both his hands on either side of Clara's face.

"I'm right here…I'm not leaving you. Calm down Clara, you're safe."

For a time he heard her breathing become regular, then all at once it became quick and frantic. Her eyes were wild.

" Clara? Clara!"

Clara's voice was choked and wheezy.

"Doctor..I can't…Help me…I can't breathe! I can't breathe!"

She flopped against him and he held her to his chest.

"No..no, no, no, Clara…Clara please…breathe…"

He put her hands on either side of his chest and began to breath regularly.

"With me…come on, …breathe. Clara, breathe!"

He saw her struggling, but the venom was over coming her.

" I'm sorry, Doctor…" She whispered, weakly she took his hands and pressed them to her lips. Then her eyes closed and she fell limply against his shoulder.

"No….Clara, don't do this…Clara? " He shook her with no response he felt panic once again gripping him.

Not this. Not this. They couldn't take her from him, not now when he needed her most.

"Clara! " He put his ear to her chest and heard silence. His voice was defeat its self.

"Please don't leave me alone." It was a voice that knows it is not being heard and as he held her close suddenly a voice spoke from beside him.

" Why didn't you save her Doctor?"

He turned and saw a woman standing there, her long red hair falling loose around her shoulders her eyes wide and sad.

" Amy?" he asked looking at his old companion. Or her shade.

"You can't really save anyone, can you? Not when it comes to the people you love."

"Amy, this wasn't my fault! I tried to save her and you, I couldn't! I kept you safe for so long."

"Not long enough." The red headed shade walked a ways away and joined a group of others all of which he knew. Old companions.

Donna

Rose

All of them. He looked at them in shock.

" Why didn't you protect us?"

They all chorused.

The Doctor took a deep breath, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm so sorry. I loved you, I loved you all like my own life…lives. I swear. Just like I loved Clara. But I failed you…all of you and I live with that every day. But, I go on…I go on because I know you loved me too and that deep down you would understand. I know you would. Yes, I loved you…I still love you. But.. love can't fix everything!"

A flash and he was alone, Clara was gone from his arms and he crouched, sobbing in a stone cell. For a time he stayed like that then slowly he straightened up.

"What now?" he asked the silence, "What more could you possibly do to me?"

He slowly stood, " Well, I can tell you this much…nothing can be as bad as what just happened in there. You took her from me! Just out of spite…but you've done it now, you've made me angry.

Bring on your worst! There's no way your breaking me now!"

But nothing happened…nothing at all.


	6. Final test

The Doctor paced back and forth in his stone cell. The light of the torch cast his tall, slender shadow against the stone wall.

Why had the test not begun yet? The others had begun immediately but this seemed to be taking forever. The more time passed, the more time he had to dwell on all that had happened.

Memories resurrected, truths revealed—lives taken. It was driving him mad! Finally he kicked the stone wall with such force he was sure he had broken at least two toes.

"GET ON WITH IT!"

He shouted to the great unknown.

"Do it! I can't stand this silence, this waiting!"

Suddenly the reality of the situation came to him and in spite of it all he gave a rueful smile.

"Ohhhh I get it now! Yes, I understand! This is the test. You're going to lock me up with all the demons you dredged up and try to make me madder then I already am. Clever, clever…too clever."

He sank down against the wall his head in his hands.

What now?

We wait. We wait to see who outlasts who.

His eyes twitched around the room restlessly, his mind trying desperately to fend off the horrible thoughts through distraction. They came anyway tapping at the door of his brain like Poe's raven.

He began counting stones on the wall.

"1,2,3,4,5…"

 _Your people are dead_.

"6,7,8,9,10,11.."

 _It's all your fault_.

" I don't like that story, tell me another. 12, 13,14,"

 _CLARA'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU_!

" No!...15,16,17,"

 _You're alone…you'll always be alone_.

The Doctor's yell of frustration made the chamber ring.

"YOU MADE ME LOSE COUNT!"

He put his head in his hands for a moment as the shadows gathered closer. Circling like wolves.

He stood.

" I had a companion once, strange little thing. Then again I'm not one to talk. She told me she could see spirits. Both good and evil. I asked her how she kept the evil ones away she said to me: "The thing is Doctor, nothing irritates evil more than happiness. So, I sing." The songs made her happy you see and nothing evil can ever stay for long with that going on." He smiled at the memory and then addressing the empty air theatrically he spoke.

"So, Now without further ado….this one's for you!"

If a Time Lord sings in an underground torture cell and no one is there to hear him, does he still make a noise?

You bet he does.

For the next half an hour or so "Annoying Songs Greatest Hits" made the cell walls ring before The Doctor gave up.

If the demons hadn't been banished, they were most certainly deaf .

He walked another circuit of the room.

"This might not be so bad. It's not like I haven't been alone before."

 _No one is listening you silly old man._

" Who said that?!"

 _You did you pratt!_

"No," he said " That's just me talking, no one else is here. That's ok, I've been alone before."

 _No you haven't actually_.

" I haven't always had companions."

 _You had the T.A.R.D.I.S. She's your companion._

"She's a machine."

 _Not to you. She's more to you. But it doesn't really matter. Because, she's not here._

 _You are ALONE Doctor, all alone with the voices in your head. Not good for a mad man_.

"I'll be fine. I haven't gone mad yet."

 _Are_ you _sure? You are talking to yourself_.

"Bah! That doesn't mean I'm mad!"

 _No. Answering yourself does._

The Doctor shook himself quickly. He looked around at the lengthening shadows.

"If that torch goes out I quit!" he said aloud to the silence.

Why hadn't they let him go? He wasn't panicking. Why hadn't they let him out?

Unless, they never meant to.

Time went on. Minutes passed that felt like hours as he waited and the shadows gathered. Images danced in his head. Voices seemed to whisper in the dark. Before long they were all he could see and hear. He dropped his head into his hands and wept.

At one point he put his hand in his pocket in search of a handkerchief and something fell to the floor with a metallic clank. He looked toward the sound and saw a small, gold engraved disk spinning by his feet. His confession dial.

He picked up the dial, its ancient markings looking alive in the flickering torch light. He flipped it over and his own reflection stared back at him from the smooth metal.

"Hello." He said, "Who are you?"

He stopped as though to listen.

"Nobody? Well isn't that a coincidence! I'm nobody too!"

He smiled and the face in the dial smiled back. He chuckled softly.

Perhaps he was nobody here. He certainly wasn't The Doctor. He was only The Doctor if someone was there to watch.

He turned back to his reflection.

" So, another nobody, eh? What are the odds! Oh! We must be a pair!"

Suddenly he glanced around as though he feared being over heard. His voice dropped to a whisper.

"You mustn't tell them! They'd separate us, you know. They always do."

WHAT IN THE UNIVERSE ARE YOU DOING?!

He threw the disc away with a clatter. Then he walked over, picked it up and put it in his pocket again.

He sat for a long while then with his head resting on his knees. Thinking of nothing. Feeling nothing.

Empty, defeated.

Then suddenly he heard a faint scratching noise nearby. It was like the sound of chalk on a chalk board.

He opened his eyes and saw to his amazement that words were forming on the wall in front of him.

 **DOCTOR**

"Yes?"

 **LISTEN**

He blinked a few times in surprise. Was this part of the test?

" I'm listening."

 **YOU HAVE TO FIGHT!**

" Who are you?"

 **CLARA.**

"Clara's dead. You've won, all right? Just..stop. Kill me and.."

 **STOP!**

He did, his eyes wide.

 **NEVER SAY THAT!**

Who are you?!

 **I…Am…CLARA!**

The Doctor's voice became a whisper, in spite of himself he was beginning to believe.

 **NOT REAL.**

Confusion washed over him. He remembered the weight of Clara in his arms, the warmth of her dying breath on his cheek. How could all of that not have been real. How could it be true.

He didn't care.

 **FIGHT!**

His voice was weary. His eyes filmy with tears.

"I can't Clara…I can't do this …not on my own."

 **NOT ALONE. LOOK INSIDE.**

" Inside? Inside where?"

 **INSIDE DOCTOR.**

He paused for a moment.

"Oh, I see."

He closed his eyes, allowing himself to go past layers of fear deep into his central core.

"How do I get out?"

 _Wrong question._

"Why am I not getting out?"

 _Better. Think, what's stopping you?_

"I don't know."

 _Think._

Another silence as he pondered.

"I-I'm afraid of what's outside."

 _What could possibly be worse than here. What's outside?_

" Reality—the truth's outside. I-I'm afraid of what's real."

 _Very good. But you'll have to face it sooner or later . Be brave._

" How?"

 _Remember who you are._

 _Who are you?_

"I'm nobody."

 _Who are you?_

" Nobody!"

 _Wrong answer you idiot!_

"I'm-I'm The Doctor. Yes…I'm The Doctor!" He smiled " I'M THE DOCTOR!"

"No." said a slightly familiar voice. Very young. Very English. " Sorry, but you see…I'm The Doctor."

"That's impossible!" said another very familiar voice, " You can't be The Doctor, I'm The Doctor!"

"You're all daft!" said a third voice roughly, " I'm The Doctor."

The Doctor looked up. The room was full of people. Different faces, different voices, different bodies.

All familiar. All him.

" Don't worry about it mate," said a tall man in a leather jacket with slightly prominent ears, "We're just messing with you. Were all The Doctor, yourself included of course."

The Doctor's mouth opened and closed like a fish for a few moments before he spoke.

"We've always been here." Said a very young man with blond hair and bright blue eyes. He straightened his bow tie proudly, " We never left. We're all a part of you and together we're unstoppable!"

The Doctor held his head, " That's done it…It's finally happened. I've gone completely mad."

" It's quite the opposite really."

A young man with short, dark hair and wide brown eyes stepped forward.

"You see, it's like this. None of us are all one person. Not really. We change…like a..a..chameleon. We're different in different situations, different times in our life . But all those parts they're still us. Once you know and accept all your parts…well..then you're stronger then ever!"

The man in the leather jacket stepped forward again.

" So. Nice to meet you…may I present your parts."

"Hello,nice to meet you."

"WRONG!"

The entire group shouted in unison.

" Oh..right…sorry. Nice to see you all again."

"Likewise." Said the man in the leather jacket, "Now get up, man up and show them what you've got!"

"We believe in you Doctor!"

He stood his gaze determined.

"I'm leaving! I don't know how but I'll figure it out! Because I'm The Doctor and I'm clever!"

He then went to lean against the wall and promptly fell backward into space.

He opened his eyes to a Turanian guard standing over him.

"You have done well, Doctor. You have earned your freedom"

"Oh, that's lovely.." he croaked, " GO TO HELL!"

Then he collapsed.

"Is he alive? He looks dead."

"I assure you, your majesty he is alive."

The Doctor awoke to the Turanian queen's reptilian face inches from his own. They both startled and she straightened up as he struggled to his feet.

He stared at her. Cold fury filling his gaze.

" You. You had better hope I never come to this cursed rock again. Because if I do, I will burn it to the ground!"

The queen seemed taken aback for a moment.

" Why, Doctor! I should think you would be happy. You're a free man!"

The Doctor's voice was flint, every word a spark threatening to start a fire.

" You tortured me and my friend. You made our lives your sport and…" he paused, " God help your souls, you killed Clara! That is something I will never forgive!"

The Queen smirked. " Then it's good you won't have too."

"What?"

" Let her out!"

The Doctor furrowed his brow in confusion.

" DOCTOR!"

Clara flew into his arms so quickly he was sitting before he even registered what was going on.

"Clara?"

Clara's arms held him tightly as she curled in his lap like a child, crying. Cautiously he gathered her close, awkwardly.

"You're alive?"

"Of course I'm alive! Didn't you read my message!"

" I thought…how did you…oh never mind!"

He drew her close as she wept then he smiled.

" It's all right, Clara…it's over now. We're going home."

" AND ANOTHER THING! THAT SCEPTER HAS ALWAYS MADE YOU LOOK FAT!"

The Doctor slammed the door in the Queen's face and went back to the console where Clara was sitting.

"Seriously?"

"I was under pressure. It still felt good."

The engine hummed as The Doctor coaxed the TARDIS to life again.

"There's my girl! I missed you!"

Clara smiled.

As The Doctor looked over his eyes grew a bit wide. There, sitting beside Clara, eating a biscuit was The Rat. The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"Clara…come here a moment…I need to show you something."

"What?" Clara turned following his gaze . "AWWWW! Look at him! He loves that , doesn't he?!"

"Clara…that's a…you know."

Clara placed The Rat on her shoulder and The Doctor raised an eye brow.

" I know it's a rat, Doctor. Don't you recognize an old friend?"

"But you're afraid of rats!"

Clara handed another biscuit to her new friend.

"Was…not anymore. There are worse things than rats Doctor."

The Doctor smiled, "I can't argue there."

"Let's get out of here." Said Clara tickling the rats chin.

"Absolutely! Where to?"

"Some where far, far, away from here."

"Your wish is my command."

The Doctor pulled the lever and the TARDIS sang to life as they flew on.

THE END


	7. Clara

The screaming rang through the TARDIS. In Clara's room The Doctor fought with a thrashing Clara as he strove to wake her from her dream.

" Clara…Clara! Wake up!" he shook her firmly and the screaming stopped but Clara stared glassy eyed at him for a moment breathing hard. The Doctor's voice was gentle,

" Clara. Look at me. It's all right, it was just a dream."

Slowly Clara's gaze cleared and she wrapped her arms around The Doctor and held on tight. He flinched, but put his arms around her soothing her.

Nearly three weeks had passed since their experience with the Turranians and Clara seemed to have suffered worse than him from the ordeal. She never spoke to him about it and if he pressed her she would either storm off or change the subject tactfully. She'd picked up his tricks there, he had to hand it to her. But the dreams spoke for themselves.

Clara released The Doctor finally and wiped at her eyes.

" I'm sorry…I'm so sorry! These dreams.."

" I understand..I have them as well."

Clara looked at him in surprise.

" Really? But I thought you didn't…"

"Time Lord's sleep Clara, of course they do. No living creature can do without sleep entirely . I just don't do very much of it. "

The Doctor rose and Clara followed him with her eyes.

"How do you ..."

"How do I what?"

"How do you make them go away?"

Clara's voice was like a child that's afraid of the dark.

The Doctor felt a sharp stab of pity. He sighed and sat down on the edge of Clara's bed.

"They never really go away I'm afraid. They get less and less but they're always around. After a while you get used to that fact. Then they don't frighten you quite so much"

Clara looked down. She seemed to be considering something.

" You asked me once…what I saw that day. Do you still want to know?"

"If you want to tell me."

There was a pause, The Doctor could clearly hear Clara's deep intake of breath.

" It's terrible..are you sure?"

The Doctor nodded silently.

" All right then…" She lifted her eyes and fixed them on his. "Let's start at the beginning."

Clara's view point:

The door slammed behind her leaving her temporarily blinded. As her eyes cleared she saw a warm white light illuminating the door way in front of her. She walked towards it cautiously and suddenly she realized she was at a funeral. She could just make out the casket, but not the corpse within. She took a few hesitant steps forward.

"Clara!"

Clara lept and turned to find a woman taking a small girl by the hand. The girl had long dark hair like hers and when she turned toward her briefly it was her own eyes looking back at her. That was her mother, the little girl was her.

" Come on now," her mother scolded " I told you not to run off. It's time to say good bye to Gran. Come on!"

Clara saw the girl's wide eyes and her own widened. She remembered this. Her first experience with death, when her Grandmother died.

" Clara, stop it now! Come over here with me!"

The woman gestured to the little girl who was standing statue still a foot away from the casket where the woman knelt.

" Come say good bye to Gran!"

Clara felt her heart beginning to pound, her chest constrict. It was like she was seeing through the little girl's eyes.

" I don't want to…" she felt herself whisper "I'm afraid."

She watched as the woman grabbed the girl by the hand and dragged her toward the casket.

"I'm afraid Mummy! I'm afraid!"

It was as though she were speaking the words herself, she felt every emotion as though it were happening to her. It had happened to her once, she reminded herself and she smothered a sound of fear. For now she could see the casket before her, her grandmother's dead face, empty and gray like some horrible statue.

" Kiss Gran good bye, Sweet heart!"

Her mother's voice was gentle ,but Clara felt her chest constrict . The image seemed to be blurring and suddenly Clara realized her vision was failing that's when she remembered about the poison.

" Please, Mummy! I don't like it…don't make me!"

She heard the little girl's words come from her throat and tears filled her eyes. Then she breathed in deeply and began .

 _I am Clara Oswald._

 _I traveled to this place with The Doctor, in the TARDIS._

 _None of this is real, it's just in my head._

 _It's just in my head._

" ALL RIGHT!"

She forced herself to say, she heard the little girl's voice say it softly. Swallowing down her fear, Clara bent over the stone face of her dead Grand Mother and leaned forward slowly. In reality she had fled screaming at this point and refused to return to the church. But not this time. Gently she placed her lips on the old woman's cold, stiff fore head.

"I love you Gran." She whispered, " I miss you."

Suddenly the scene melted away and she was once again standing in torch light staring at a closed door.

"Well," she said wiping the tears from her eyes, " I wish I could say that wasn't so bad. But it could have been worse."

This was little comfort as she opened the door, because she knew what came next would be worse and there was nothing she could do.

Note: Mermaid posted on my link and asked about Clara's perspective. I decided to attach it to this story to make it easier.

I almost made two view points at once in my story but I felt it took away from the suspense. Hopefully this will complete some of the picture.

More next chapter.


End file.
